Hungry for Words: Mostly Japanese

Family, part 3

This is the final lesson about family （家族）and relatives （親戚). (Part 1, Part 2).

So far we've covered blood relatives. But of course, at a typical family gathering you'll have a lot of relatives who are related by other means: by marriage, or by adoption.

Parents-in-law

Any relative that is not related by blood is related by 義理 （ぎり　giri), which means obligation or responsibility - in other words by law. So for instance, your mother-in-law is your 義理の母　(ぎりのはは　giri no haha). This is usually abbreviated to 義母, which is read the same as the plain word for mother 母　as はは　(haha) - see Part 1. Similarly, you would call your mother-in-law お義母さん and pronounce it おかあさん (okaasan), the same as お母さん.

The same holds for your father-in-law, who is your 義理の父　(ぎりのちち　giri no chichi) or 義父　read ちち　(chichi), the same as 父, and you'd call him お義父さん　(おとうさん　otousan), the same as お父さん.

Other relatives (aunts, uncles, etc.) that you are related to by marriage are also 義理の..., but if you are talking to them you would just call them 伯母さん、伯父さん、etc. (see Part 2).

Adoption in Japan

Adoptive parents are referred to in the same way as in-laws.

Adopted children are 養子　(ようし youshi), which is also the word for an adopted son. An adopted daughter is a 養女　(ようじょ　youjo).

In Japan, it's still not unheard of for adults to be 'adopted'. This mainly happens when a man marries the daughter of a family who may have a business, or be very prominent in society. The man takes on the family (last) name of his wife and is effectively 'adopted' into her family. (One of my uncles did this, when he married a woman whose family ran a big bakery business, which he took over eventually.) This is getting rarer though.

This is the last of the Family series. If I've missed anything, please let me know in the comments.

Family, part 2

More family and relatives! (Part 1 covered parents and siblings)

The word for relative incidentally is 親戚　(しんせき　shinseki).

Grandparents

Your grandparents are collectively in the third person 祖父母　(そふぼ　sofubo).

Your grandfather in the third person is 祖父　(そふ　sofu). You would call him お祖父さん　(おじいさん　ojiisan) to his face. You'd also call any elderly man おじいさん, but the kanji is different (お爺さん). Kids might say お祖父ちゃん　(おじいちゃん　ojiichan)　- this can also be used by adults to express intimacy and closeness (ちゃん　is a more informal suffix than さん).

Your grandmother in the third person is 祖母　(そぼ　sobo). You'd call her お祖母さん　(おばあさん　obaasan) to her face; kids might say おばあちゃん　(obaachan). Again, any elderly lady can also be called おばあさん, with different kanji （お婆さん).

Great-grandparents have 曾　(read as ひい　hii or そう　sou) attached to the root word for a grandparent. So a great-grandfather is 曾祖父　or 曾お祖父さん, great-grandmother is 曾祖母　or 曾お祖母さん.

Children

Your children collectively are 子供　(こども　kodomo); this is the word for any child　or children. Your daughter is 娘 (むすめ　musume) and your son is 息子　(むすこ　musuko). (娘 is also used to refer to any young girl, though the word more commonly used for young girls is 女の子　(おんなのこ　onnanoko).) Normally you would call your children by their names rather than their titles, unless you were trying to make a point.

Any baby is called 赤ちゃん　(あかちゃん　akachan) or 赤ん坊　(あかんぼう akanbou), which literally means red (赤）child (坊).

Grandchildren

A grandchild is 孫　(まご　mago); the plural is the same. Again, anyone younger than you is usually called by their name rather than what they are.

Aunts and uncles

Your uncle in the third person is your 叔父　(おじ　oji); you'd call him 伯父さん　(おじさん　ojisan). You might call any middle-aged man おじさん　too.

Your aunt in the third person is 叔母　(おば　oba); you'd call her 伯母さん　(おばさん　obasan). Again, you might call any woman おばさん; when people start calling you おばさん instead of おねえさん you know that you're getting older. And when they start calling you おばあさん　- you better break out the hairdye and botox.

You can add the name of the uncle or aunt to refer to them individually, e.g.　my niece and nephew would call me 牧子伯母さん　(まきこおばさん　makiko obasan) or, since they're still small, 牧子おばちゃん　(Makiko obachan).

(Elderly people are far more likely to be called おじいちゃん、おばあちゃん　with the diminutive -chan suffix than middle-aged people are to be called おじちゃん、おばちゃん. It's strange how many people sort of 'talk down' to the elderly - I think this occurs in many cultures.)

Nieces and nephews

Your nephew is 甥　(おい　oi). Your niece is 姪　(めい　mei).

Cousins

Your cousins are 従兄弟　(いとこ　itoko); if you only have female cousins (or are referring to female cousins only) you can write it 従姉妹. A single cousin is either 従兄 (older male cousin), 従姉 (older female cousin), 従弟 (younger male cousin)　or 従妹 (younger female cousin)　- all read itoko. When in doubt, just use the first kanji - 従兄弟.

In part 3 we'll tackle all those related-by-marriage relatives and such.

Family, part 1

Since you might be meeting up with your family this week if you are in the U.S., today's lesson is about phrases for various members of the family.

Family is 家族　(かぞく　kazoku), which is a combination of the kanji for house (家 いえ　ie) and clan (族　ぞく　zoku).

Parents (両親　りょうしん　ryoushin)

Your parents collectively are 父母　(ふぼ　fubo) which literally means father-mother, but you only call them that when referring to them in the third person, e.g. 私の父母は東京に住んでいます (わたしのふぼはとうきょうにすんでいます。　watashi no fubo wa tokyo ni sunde imasu) - my parents live in Tokyo. You can also use 両親　(りょうしん　ryoushin) which literally means 'both parents', or simply 親　(おや　oya) which means 'parent'.

Individually, in the third person (politely) your father is 父　(ちち　chichi); when you talk to him you might call him お父さん　(おとうさん　otousan), 父さん　(とうさん　tousan), 親父　(おやじ　oyaji), and so on. Kids might call him パパ　(papa).

Similarly, in the third person (polite,formal) your mother is 母　(はは　haha); talking to her directly she's お母さん　(おかあさん　okaasan), 母さん　(かあさん　kaasann), お袋　(おふくろ　ofukuro), etc. Kids might call her ママ　(mama).

(Incidentally, my sisters and I call our parents ダディー　and マミー　which is so not Japanese! We picked up this habit from our years living in England, and never got out of it.)

Siblings

The general word for siblings is 兄弟　(きょうだい　kyoudai), which literally means older brother-younger brother. If you only have sisters you could use 姉妹　(しまい　shimai), which again literally means older sister-younger sister.

Your older brother is 兄　（あに　ani); you might call him to his face お兄さん　(おにいさん　oniisan), 兄さん　(にいさん　niisan), 兄貴　(あにき　aniki), 兄上　(あにうえ　aniue - antiquated form, but you sometimes see it in manga and anime). It's not uncommon to call an older brother figure or superior 兄貴　or other variation on 兄. In the popular web anime Yawaraka Sensha, the 'elder' tank is called 兄者！ (あにじゃ　anija), an antiquated form of 兄, when he's eaten by the cat.

(press the 退却開始！　button to start the animation)

Your younger brother is 弟　(おとうと　otouto). When talking to your younger brother, you would rarely call him by his 'title' though; you would call him by his first name.

The pattern is similar for sisters 姉妹　(しまい　shimai). Your older sister is 姉　(あね　ane), and you might call her お姉さん　(おねえさん　oneh-san), 姉さん　（ねえさん　neh-san), 姉上　(あねうえ　aneue - again an antiquated form) and so on. As with 兄、forms of 姉　are also used for slightly older women who aren't related, such as an upper classmate or superior.

A younger sister is 妹　(いもうと　imouto), and as with 弟　you wouldn't use her 'title' to talk to her - you'd call her by her first name.

Tomorrow: more family members.

Thanksgiving

Later this week on Thursday, it's Thanksgiving in the U.S. of course. In Japanese, Thanksgiving is translated as 感謝祭　(かんしゃさい　kannshasai). 感謝　(かんしゃ　kannsha) means gratefulness, and　祭 (さい　sai）is festival. (Used on its own, it's read as 祭り　(まつり　matsuri）The festival of gratefulness sounds good, doesn't it?

There is no holiday equivalent to Thanksgiving in Japan, but there is another day of gratefulness that occurs in September: 敬老感謝の日　(けいろうかんしゃのひ　keiroukansha no hi), Respect (or gratefulness) for the Aged Day. It's often abbreviated to 敬老の日　(けいろうのひ　keirou no hi), since the phrase 敬老　(けいろう　keirou) means to respect the elderly. It's a day on which senior citizens are honored. Taking care of, and respect for, ones elders has been a deeply rooted part of Japanese society for a long time, but in recent times that respect seems to be eroding, which is one reason why this holiday was implemented.

To be grateful is 感謝する　(かんしゃする　kanshasuru).

Whatever you have to be grateful for, if you are in the U.S. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving!

Companions and compassion in travel and life

I am on the road right now, mostly by myself. While I don't mind traveling alone, it does sometimes get lonely. This reminds me of one of an oldtime ことわざ　kotowaza - proverbs in Japanese:

旅は道連れ世は情け たびはみちづれよはなさけ Tabi wa michizure Yo wa nasake

It means, just as when you travel it's good to have travelling companions, in life it's important to have 情け　なさけ　nasake - compassion and kinship.

Words to pick up here:

旅　たび　tabi - travel 道連れ　みちづれ　michizure - accompany on the road; travel together 世　よ　yo - society (that one lives in); this life 情け　なさけ　nasake - compassion, kinship. Also meaning the same: 人情　にんじょう　ninnjou

I think this sentiment is true in any society, and in any era.